been awhile

I'm somewhat ashamed of myself for not keeping good on my promise to keep writing on this blog.....but nobody is really reading it are they??? helllooo anybody out there??? Essentially I'm talking to myself..in my mind on the keyboard..this is quite odd..

so enough of that..Not much to speak of lately...I've been broken hearted and i may have even broken a heart...who'd of thought I'd be capable of such a thing.?.it doesn't feel good..but I know that and i still did it ...I guess its just the thought that somebody besides a blood relative is thinking about you...and you just get caught up in it all...then you realize hmmm i don't really get this other person..and just the sight of that person goes from heavy excited heartbeats to shit theres that freak again..please don't notice me...please don't say hi...ahhh shit..here he comes..

I know that's horrible but its accurate...and people would be lying to say they've never felt that dread of an unwanted admirer.....but now i realize I've become "that guy" who didn't give me a chance...that guy who thought he could do better...the guy i hate..and now I'm just that....ehhhh but i guess that guy moved on and so shall i....